Facing Our Own Mortality
Published on 07/15,2008
Eddie and I went by the funeral home tonight after supper to pay our respect to Lee and the boys in the death of their wife and mom, Janice. Our kids are the same ages, and we've known Lee & Janice since Kelly & Jason played T-ball together when they were 4-5 years old. They are now 28-29. Long time. Their oldest son, Brian, and our Chris have been good friends since they were boys.
Last August Janice became ill, but it took until about Christmas for the doctors to diagnose her with pancreatic cancer. A death sentence if there ever was one. And yesterday God called her home. I told Chris while I was cooking dinner that it is bad enough to pick up the newspaper and nearly every day see the name of someone my parents' ages ... to see the names of parents of my schoolmates. But when you pick up the paper and see names and pictures of people your own age ... well, it hits very close to home. I mean, I just lost a cousin last year who was only 47 and one last month who was 58. This week it's 53-year-old Janice. Only Janice looked like she was 75 if she was a day. Cancer is a hard way to die. It can strip a person of all dignity and age a person by decades.
We didn't stay long. I didn't expect it to hit me so hard ... Janice looked so bad. I wouldn't have recognized her. I told Ed that if I look that bad when I die that I do NOT want an open casket. Not sure if I want it open anyway. Hadn't thought about it much. But I was on the verge of tears after I saw her body and was in a full-blown meltdown by the time we got in the car. It's not that I'm not ready to go. I am, and I know where I'm going. It's just seeing and knowing that Janice suffered so much. It breaks my heart.
So when we got home, we sat out in our new rockers on the deck. Ed was very quiet. Finally he spoke up and said what I was thinking (we do that A LOT) ... that deaths like hers makes you think about your own mortality.
Just be ready, friends. Know without a shadow of a doubt that you're a child of God, a believer in and follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. Losing a loved one is hard enough even when you know that person is healed and sitting at the feet of Jesus and worshiping and praising and just having the best time ever. But to lose a loved one and to not be sure of his or her salvation is a terrible burden. Be ready. Be sure.
