Blessings

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES- These really do work 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed or a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache. Sometimes we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

The Frist Center is a museum that hosts various art exhibits. I don't know what the usual price of admission is, but today is a free day sponsored by First Tennessee bank. My company has encouraged us to take advantage of the offer and has given us time to go observe the exhibits. Currently on display are works of impressionism and African art. Now I'm no art critic. Don't even have a decent appreciation for it. But being the obedient employee who dwells at the top at the Ivory Tower, I went. Most of it is just too bizarre for me . . . all the different masks, headdresses, statues, clothing. But one thing I found really interesting about burial customs in Ghana. Apparently they have custom-made wooden coffins. On display was one made in the shape of a Mercedes. Obviously it was made for a person of great wealth. As I stood and watched the accompanying video, I became more and more fascinated not only about their coffins but about the way people of Ghana must approach death. Each ceremony was a celebration . . . lots of dancing, chanting, waving flowers. Didn't see a single person mourning in the way we Americans typically mourn. No crying, no fainting, no emotions of sadness. Just joy and elation. And we're supposedly the Christian nation! Go figure. . . . . . Back to the coffins: These were elaborate coffins and painted in vibrant colors. We saw coffins in the shape of a truck, a can, a screwdriver, and even a mermaid. Makes me wonder . . . if we could design and custom make our own coffins to represent our lives, what are some of the things we would come up with? Myself? I'll have to think on that one for a while.

At least twice a day I drive through our neighborhood, the heart of which was ripped apart by the storms nearly 3 weeks ago. It's merely a skeleton of what it used to be. Home after home with indescribable damage. But yesterday I saw a glimmer of hope and faith posted on a large banner that is stretched across the front of one house, one that is a total loss. The banner reads: "Thanks! Romans 8:28." "We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God; those who are called according to His purpose." What a testimony! . . . . . . . . And speaking of tornado damage, our insurance adjuster came yesterday. Because the pitch is so steep on one end of the house, he'll have to ask professional roof inspectors to come out and climb around there, but due to the age and condition of the roof, he's 95% sure we'll get a new roof. Praise the Lord!

Just got word that a friend of mine is about to be a grandma for the 5th time! I know she's on cloud 9 . . . I am and it's not even my grandbaby! What a blessing for the parents-to-be and for the grandparents. If there's anything I love more than babies, I don't know what it could be. We just have one grandchild, Jay, but even if the Lord doesn't bless us with anymore, he is enough. More than enough! If we had known grandchildren could be so much fun, we would have had him first! "Grandchildren are the crown of the elderly" (Prov. 17:6). OK, I'm not elderly but Jay is certainly a crown of joy!

On Good Friday, Eddie, Jay, and I went to church. It was nearly 9 before we got away, and we were tired and starving. We stopped at Demo's, a local Italian restaurant, and one of our favorite places to eat. It turned out to be the dinner from hell. We had a server who pretty much deserted us, and a manager who wasn't very interested in helping either. The whole thing was a huge disaster. Kelly, our daughter, has been a food server for close to 10 years. She said, "Mama, you've got to contact the corporate office. They need to know what happened." And the next morning I emailed them and told them what had happened. It's way too much to go into detail here. . . . . . . . . And so the week passed and no word from Demo's, which surprised me. Not a phone call, email, letter—nothing. . . . . . . Then when I got home from work yesterday there was a phone message from the corporate office from a man named John, wanting to make sure I had received a response from the general manager of that restaurant. Nope. So I called John. He was soooooo nice and so apologetic. He said they take those kinds of complaints very seriously and that even Mr. Demos himself had read that one. We discussed the events of that evening—and here's where the Big Brother part comes in—and John said that the restaurant has cameras inside and they videotape everything that goes on. So they were able to pull the video from our visit and watch it. He was appalled at both the server and the manager. He repeatedly apologized, thanked me for my email, and assured me the situation had been addressed. In fact, he said that wasn't the first serious complaint they had received about that server but it would be the last. Oops. I'm thinking he's job hunting, not my intention at all. John also said he had $40 worth of gift certificates for us. I thanked him and said that wasn't necessary. He insisted. And he said I would have an email from the general manager before the evening was over. Sure enough, shortly I had a long and apologetic email from the GM. . . . . . The power of the poison pen!

This car-in-the-shop thing has been a real pain. Eddie and I work too far apart for carpooling to be a long-term possibility. Thought we'd have to get a rental car until my good friend Ann came to the rescue. She has an extra vehicle and loaned us the Explorer for the duration of our carlessness. Annie and I have been friends since we were 13 and 14 . . . back in the 1960s. Never went to school together (unless you count the times I skipped class and went to her school to hang out), but we've been going to church together all of our lives. We've gotten into more mischief together at church and on vacation. She sits next to me in choir and plays next to me in handbells. They don't come any better than Ann! . . . . . . . . . . . . . And then there's Jeff, who owns the transmission shop that finally got my car repaired. Only known Jeff about 20 years, but I've known his wife Beth all of her life. Her older brother is my age, and when we were teens, a bunch of us gathered at his house every Sunday afternoon for touch football. And Jeff, who has a heart of gold, goes to World Changers every year, a youth missions project. World Changers go into low-income areas and do home repairs. I went for 10 years and the experience has been invaluable in more ways than one. I now know how to roof, hang drywall, build a deck, put on siding, and more. All those years Jeff was my "World Changer husband." He's a hoot and always took good care of me when we were gone . . . as in taking me out for ice cream in the evenings. Wonderful friend! . . . . . Back to the car. Jeff initially said repairs would run about $1500 if he could get a used part and rebuild it. $2500 if he had to have a new one. I was frantic. Not in the budget, especially since we just spent a small fortune on hardwood floors and we have reservations for a vacation next month. But you know what? Ain't no need in worryin' about somethin' you got no control over. So imagine my surprise, thrill, and total thankfulness when Jeff called this afternoon to say the car is ready (several days early) and the total bill was $857. Never thought I'd be grateful for an $857 bill, but it sure is better than what it could have been. God is GOOD!

Got some new pictures loaded: Kayla at the prom, our house, Jay (of course), baking bread, Ed at work and rest, and stuff in the yard. Enjoy.

Had a guest speaker at church this morning. Tony grew up in our church; his dad was our minister of music when I was in the youth choir—MANY years ago. I also used to baby-sit Tony and his two younger sisters. So it's always a treat to have him speak. His sermon today was "The Shadow of the Cross," and he shared a life-changing moment in his life. As a senior in high school, he was president of the student body and was thus sent to a week-long training seminar for youth leaders. The first 3 days were fine, he said. Then he realized he was wasting his time and spent the remaining 2 days in pursuit of this sweet young thing. Successfully, I might add. So the last night these two "18 and insane" (his quote) teenagers met under an old oak tree and hand in hand, headed through the woods toward the pool. Skinny dipping was on the agenda. Got to the pool, and it was surrounded by a 6-foot fence with a lock on it. Not a problem. They'd just climb the 6-foot fence . . . until they saw the barbed wire around the top. At least the boy had a little bit of sense and decided not to tangle with the wire. So they decided to go to Plan B. Tony said at that moment he had decided to put behind him all the lessons and influence of his parents and SS teachers and anyone who had talked to him about Christ and the cross. I'm sure the hormones and the insanity of youth had just taken over his mind and body. Then suddenly, it all came rushing back to him, and he told the young lady he'd changed his mind. "Am I ugly?" she asked. Tony assured her she was anything but ugly. Walked her back through the woods and to her cabin. The next morning she wanted a better explantion. It was then that Tony said that after he'd discovered the barbed wire at the top of the fence, he looked over through the woods and saw a light shining on a building. And the reflection he saw was a cross, and at that moment he knew he could not go against all Christ had done for him just to satisfy a few moments of desire. WOW! Oh, that wonderful cross!

Now any Southerner knows that "sugar" refers to more than that bowl of white granular stuff that sits on the kitchen table that some folks use to sweeten their tea or coffee. And it's more than the white, brown, or powdered stuff used in baking cakes, pies, and cookies that help satisfy our sweet tooth. "Sugar" can be a pronoun, as in "Sugar, would you please pass the gravy?" And best of all, sugar can be those divine and loving kisses we receive from grandchildren to grandparents. . . . . So this morning on the way to church, I realized that while Jay had given his Mawmaw some sugar this morning, Pap was delinquent in that department. So I leaned my head back against the seat and began moaning, "I feel faint. My sugar level is so low this morning. Just haven't had enough sugar. Oh, oh!" Jay pipes up, "Mawmaw, are you all right?" And leans over and gives me big sugars. Eddie, of course, just rolls those big brown eyes and says, "Well, it's kinda hard to drive and give sugar at the same time." Poor thing. He's so used to my goofiness. I'm always flopping down somewhere and saying, "My sugar level is low. I just know I'm gonna pass out if I don't get some sugar right away!" So try that line sometime. Hey, it works for me!

I LOVE homemade yeast bread. Decided this afternoon I'd make us a loaf for supper. Found a recipe I had not tried: Braided sesame seed bread. I didn't have any seed, so we made Braided sesame-seedless bread. We as in Jay and I. When it came time to knead the dough and shape it into the ropes for the braids, Jay was ready to help. So he washed his hands, dragged the stool over, and helped me roll ropes of dough. Oh my goodness, did we ever make a mess! I'll post a picture on Monday. I look like a haint: we'd been swimming and my hair had dried all over the place. We both had flour everywhere, but who cares? We not only made bread, but more important . . . we made a memory. And flour all over the kitchen countertop and floor isn't a big deal to clean up. We had FUN and that's all that mattered. I wasn't as careful as I should have been in dividing the dough. The first loaf was big enough, but the second one looks like bread on steroids. It is HUGE! We ate most of the smaller loaf for supper; the mega-loaf is going home with Jay tomorrow.